You Might Be the Problem (Here's How to Tell)

Are you the main character...or have you accidentally become the villain?

Ouch. We know. This episode might sting a little—but sometimes the truth is exactly what we need.

Last episode we challenged you to stop living as the supporting character in your own life and start embracing Main Character Energy. But there's a catch. Taking ownership of your life doesn't mean making everything about you.

In this laugh-out-loud, lovingly kick-you-in-the-mindset episode, Julie and Mallory tackle one of the biggest personal growth roadblocks nobody likes to talk about: What if you're the common denominator?

Together they unpack why some people stay trapped in victim mentality, why self-awareness is one of the most valuable leadership skills you can develop, and how accountability—not blame—is what actually creates freedom. Through hilarious real-life stories, tough-love moments, and practical mindset shifts, they explore why people drift away from chronic complainers, why taking responsibility is empowering instead of defeating, and how to stop sabotaging your own relationships, career, and happiness. 

If you've ever caught yourself saying...

• "Why does this always happen to me?"

• "Everyone I work with is toxic."

• "Nothing ever goes my way."

• "People just don't understand me."

...this episode might change your perspective forever.

Because here's the truth: You can't control what happens to you—but you always control what you do next.

In this episode you'll learn:

✔️ How to recognize victim mentality before it takes over your life

✔️ Why accountability is actually the fastest path to confidence

✔️ How to develop greater self-awareness without beating yourself up

✔️ The difference between healthy Main Character Energy and selfish behavior

✔️ Why your mindset—not your circumstances—is often your greatest advantage

✔️ Practical ways to stop complaining, start growing, and take your power back

If you're ready for a little tough love, a lot of laughs, and the mindset shift that could completely change your relationships, career, and confidence...

Press play.

Because around here we're fighting the war on self-abdication—and sometimes the biggest breakthrough starts with asking one uncomfortable question:

"Could I be the common denominator?"

Stay connected to Mallory and Julie!

breakthroughwmj.com

mallory@HerrinHR.com

julie@julieburch.com

@Breakthroughwmj  

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:14

Welcome, Breakthrough Crew. We're glad you're here. In our last episode, and hopefully you all listened, we talked about main character energy and how important it is that you stop being a supporting character in your life and that you become the main character. But as we talked about it and talked about it after, one of the things we realized is that we really don't want people to go crazy and overdo that. I want you to be the main character, but I don't want you to be the villain. So we need to, we need to make sure that we're setting some boundaries here and we're talking about it in another way. My name is Julie Birch with Julie Birch Speaks, and I'm super excited that you're here. One of the things I always say is that I'm fighting my war on self-abdication. I'm all about taking agency over self. You choose your voice, right? Your choice, your voice. And I want to hope, I want to I hope that I can give you some skills and some thoughts that will help you do that as well.

SPEAKER_01 1:05

Thank you so much for joining us. I'm excited to talk about this. I do think, you know, there's two sides to every coin here. So how do you not become the villain but still take charge? Very important topic. I'm Mallory Heron, wife, mom, CEO, speaker, author, podcaster, and I love dogs. And here we are. So um I feel like generally speaking, perception is reality. Even if you don't want to admit it, whatever you're doing is contributing to how others perceive you. And if they're perceiving you in a way that is maybe pretty selfish or self-centered or unaware, clueless, maybe you're the problem. Maybe a little bit. Stop being an asshole. A little bit. Don't be an asshole. Um, this this came up for me not too long ago. So I love my husband dearly. I'm gonna pick on him a little bit. So teenage kids, right? So we're not cool, they don't want to hang out with us. But generally speaking, my kids actually do like to hang out with us more often than not, which is amazing, but we're happy about it. Well, my husband and my son particularly, like, they're hanging out in the garage all the time. Like, my son's working on four-wheelers and and fixing them, and my husband's just kind of there and hanging out and talking to him because he doesn't have uh the same kind of mechanical capability, and that's fine. We all have different strengths, but he loves hanging out with my son and his friends. Well, this was a few weeks ago now, but at one point he he came to me and was like, Man, he'd been having a rough day, right? So he's kind of yelling here and there, not not not to be the greatest. But he comes and he says, Um, Nathan and his friends don't want to hang out with me, and I don't get it. And he's like pissed off. And in my mind, I'm thinking, have you tried not being an asshole? Right? Like if you if you want him to sp want to spend time with you, maybe don't be an asshole. Maybe there's some consequences to your actions, and we're seeing them here. Uh, if if if him and his friends are like, nah, still thinks we're good after the lesson after you've been like that today, maybe, maybe just saying.

SPEAKER_00 3:19

What's the problem there, right? Sometimes we have to be more self-aware, take accountability.

SPEAKER_01 3:25

Yes. So that was when he crossed over from main character to dip in the toes in the water of being the villain. Now, everything worked out fine. They're cool, no big deal, but it's just the the and I did I didn't say that to him directly, okay? This was an inside thought.

SPEAKER_00 3:42

He's gonna hear it now though.

SPEAKER_01 3:43

Yeah, so sorry. I love you. I'll make dinner. Like, well it's fine, it's fine, we're fine. Um, but yeah, like I immediately thought that, and I've realized there are definitely people I have that kind of thought about, maybe more than others.

SPEAKER_00 4:00

That's kind of how this this episode, this topic, I think was born is that we really were so excited about the idea of main character energy and not being a supporting player. But then as we since that, since we recorded that episode and we've talked about it, one of the things that has really come up is that, but what about the people that are a problem? Sometimes people, they they're the issue. And I think we have to be willing to acknowledge that is that are you the one you because you do have a hand in your circumstances, right? And we all in our lives have known people that it why do they do this to me? It's always about to me. Everything is about how it, why do people do this to me? And I know that we've said this before, and I've I've said this many times in training classes, that people do things for their own reasons, you but your circumstances are your responsibility. So it you have to start looking for what's the common denominator. And that's really kind of the idea. If every single job that you've ever had, you got fired or you quit because it was toxic. It was a toxic environment. I've got news for you. If every job you've ever had, the environment was toxic, what is the one consistent thing in every one of those jobs? It's you. It's time to do the checkup from the neck up. You know what I'm talking about? Like at some point, you have to recognize you're the common denominator. If every relationship that you've ever been in, it they were evil, they were toxic, they were crazy, they were a narcissist. At some point, again, what's the common denominator? And I think we have to start taking accountability and stop being a victim in our lives and start recognizing that we have the power to do something different.

SPEAKER_01 5:50

Yeah, you might be the problem. And think about this way do you enjoy dealing with people that misbehave like that, that make it all about themselves? They take main character too far and and they're is keeping a victim mentality, but the the people that are out there just being assholes. So, for example, um, I'm gonna share a story. This is a family-related story, but I'm not telling you who in my family, okay? Um, in case they're listening. I don't think so, but you never know. So um unfortunately there was a a death in the family, and it was uh one of the kids, and um, it was this individual's only child, and it happened suddenly. No one expected this. Um so obviously your world is upside down. That's unimaginable pain. I I I this thought of it I can't stand it. It how awful to go through. Well, this person's family member um decided that that she wanted to jump in and take control as a form of helping out. So ended up flying because it was a states away to this this person that had just lost her child, flew out there and had asked, asked that person to like book a hotel room for her. I think she's a little busy right now, but whatever. So flies out there and just starts complaining to the individual that just lost their child about how like my hotel's really not that great. Is there not is there not another one that I could be put up with? Or maybe I'll just stay at your house and just kind of railroading over the whole situation and ended up. I was the one that was called to be like, hey, can you rein this in? Not yet. Can you handle this? I can't, I have so much other stuff on my mind right now. I'm brokenhearted, but I I can't also deal with this. So I was like, I I got you. So uh I decided that I was gonna be the problem that time in response to the original problem, and I I called and I just reamed that person a new one. Was like, this is absolutely unacceptable. You're so focused on yourself. Why are you here? What's the reason you're here? You're not adding any value, you're not helping, you're making the situation way worse than it ever needed to be. And this kind of thing, have you seen those videos online where it's like parents that their kids have gone no contact with them? And in their videos, they're so like, I don't know why. This came out of nowhere. Like men that get divorced, I never saw it coming. No one ever said they were having a hard time. Yes, they did.

SPEAKER_00 8:30

That's right. Yes, they're not listening.

SPEAKER_01 8:32

Exactly. And it it it the mentality it takes to stay in that mindset of I'm in the right, you're in the wrong, I I'm an angel, and I never did anything to deserve this. That's a pretty significant action. That's not a little thing. If if your kid's going no contact with you, there's a reason why, and you're that reason.

SPEAKER_00 8:53

Right. And I understand that, you know, circumstances, things happen, but I do think that that ultimately is that we become the victim. And we there there's reasons that things happen. And I think if we're honest with ourselves and we look back at the challenges or the things that have happened in our lives, I know I I've made so many mistakes and I've been through so many terrible, crazy things. And when I look back on it, you know why? Because I messed up, because I made a poor choice, because I was responsible for my decision and I made a poor decision. And I think that we have to get to a place where we become more self-aware that we are responsible for our circumstances, right? For the results that we get. Bad things happen to good people, absolutely true. But I think that when we allow circumstances to dictate everything, because whatever you've been through, somebody else has been through it too. Yes, right? You're not the only one on the planet that's been through that. Now, it may be the only time you've been through it, but it's that mindset of like you you see this a lot too, where people that are, they say, well, you know, this kid grew up in a bad home, they had a terrible parents, or their parents were addicted to drugs, or they're they're they grew up in foster homes, or they had this horrible upbringing, so that's why they turned to crime. And I said, Well, you know what, there are plenty of people who grew up in bad homes that became amazing, well-adjusted, contributing members of society. So when we say, well, the reason that they're a criminal, we should be nice, we should be kind, we should be more forgiving, because they had a really rough upbringing. Well, a lot of people with rough upbringings don't become criminals. And we don't advocate, we don't advocate being criminals on this podcast.

SPEAKER_01 10:34

Not here.

SPEAKER_00 10:35

Not on this one.

SPEAKER_01 10:36

Check out a crime-specific podcast for that.

SPEAKER_00 10:38

And there are some, so you know, check that out. But but I do think that that's sometimes what happens is that we say, well, because of this, that's why I'm I'm like that. And I think we have to really do more self-reflection and say, I'm responsible for what I do with that circumstance. So maybe that is bad. Maybe what happened to me was bad. Maybe I went through a, I had a, you know, something bad happened in my life, but what am I going to do with it? And not wallow in it, but rather, what action am I going to take? How am I going to move forward in this? And people that just get stuck in how bad it is and how negative it is, that becomes a problem. The other thing, and I'm going to throw this out there and then we can kind of move forward. But the people that make everything about themselves, right? So we we've kind of alluded to that, but very specifically, when somebody says, Well, this happened, they're like, Well, let me tell you what happened to me. And everything, it it's amazing to me. It's actually, I I almost feel like it's just an art form that some people are able to take whatever you said and turn it around and make it about you. And it is kind of that one upper personality. Like, no matter what you've done, I've done it bigger, better, faster, whatever. And you turn it around on you. And we have to be self-aware enough that I'm all about main character energy, but don't be the villain. Show some compassion.

SPEAKER_01 12:03

Yeah. Time and place, and it's not all about you. Now, one thing I will note this I've been guilty of this. When someone shares something with me that might be particularly hard or heavy, if if I have had a similar experience, I might say, you know, I relate to that. And it's not because I'm trying to make it about me. I'm I want this person to know that they've been seen. I I can empathize with them. But I have to keep in mind that that doesn't mean I need to say anything about it, other than, you know, I I I imagine that's really hard, but I I'm happy to listen, you know, and being supportive. Because not everybody takes the way that I that's how I like to be supported, is not feeling alone. So find if I say something and someone else has also been through that, I find that helpful. Not everybody finds that helpful. Right. To some people, and it's been pointed out to me by my husband. Um, he was sharing something, and then I was like, oh yeah. So like when this thing happened, and he's like, It's not about you. That's not what I ever intended, but that's the effect of what I was saying. So, you know, I'm not perfect with it, but it's right, I'd like to think I'm pretty self-aware and I at least do something about it. It's when you aren't in control of your own life because you feel like things are happening to you and you're not willing to reflect and see how am I contributing to this, and you can't see a clear line of I took this action, here's the consequence of that action. Then you're gonna be stuck in a headspace where you're always miserable.

SPEAKER_00 13:40

And nobody wants to be around somebody who's always miserable. No, God, no. I I don't have that. I I and this is like you said, kind of something you you're not perfect at. This is something I struggle with, is that I have very, very low tolerance for complaining. Very low tolerance for people. I'm not generally the person, I'm not the friend you want to go to when you want to just complain, when you want to just whine. I'm not that friend. I am not good at it because my I will listen to people complain for about a minute, and then I'm gonna say, So what are you gonna do about it? How are you gonna handle it? So what are you gonna do? Have you done that? Because I I I feel like we people get stuck, and and I appreciate that, you know, sometimes you need to vent and you want to be able to say it. I I'm not your girl for that generally, but I do think that I find so often that people get stuck in the negative and they never seem to be able to find the positive. And nobody wants to be around that kind of energy.

SPEAKER_01 14:37

Hell no. There is someone that I basically stopped taking places and hanging out with because I noticed every single time we went somewhere, there was always something that was being complained about. The parking was bad. It the I didn't like the drink selection, it was too hot, it was too cold. Just constantly, it ruins everybody else's time. And I'm like, I'm not having a good time when I'm taking you to these places, so I'ma just stop taking you places. And I I'm similar. I have a hard time with look, there's childhood trauma and and bad situations. That's un very unfortunate. If you are a grown-ass person, it's helpful to have insight into maybe why you're sensitive to things and why you do things the way you do, but that it shouldn't just stop there, it should continue. Those are things you need to work through, there's stuff that you need to improve. I I don't have a lot of tolerance for people that are big complainers that aren't willing to take some kind of action either. And I I kind of feel bad for that at times, but I'm gonna tell you a story. So it I had this great friend in high school, uh, we were really close. After high school, as things happened, you know, you kind of drift apart. But then in our 20s, we kind of reconnected and she was going through a really rough time. Now her she wasn't working. Her boyfriend was going to school and had two jobs. So he's like constantly working, constantly gone. Now she's at home, and as we're talking about things that that are a struggle for her, so she's like, financially, we're about to be evicted, and I don't know what to do. Well, maybe have you thought about getting a job? I'll be happy to like look around with you and and help you with your resume. No, I I don't think that I'd have this is before Uber. Okay. So like I don't think I have reliable transportation. I have to borrow the car, da-da-da. And you know, my boyfriend's been really having a hard time with me because he says I'm not doing enough at home. Well, what are you doing at home? Well, I don't really cook, I don't really clean. I it's because I don't really know how to do those things. I can teach you. That's not a problem. So me being also extremely broke trying not to get evicted. I wanted to help, but I told her, you know, I I can't give you money. I don't have money to give you. So I told her, what we'll do, I'll clean out all of my my stuff. I don't have a lot of nice things, but I I've got clothes that I don't wear anymore. I I've got belongings that I don't really use. I'll I'll gather them together. We'll have a garage sale. You and me will have this garage sale and you can keep the money. And I also um I offered this and she says, no. All right, she says, no, she doesn't want to do it. Okay. I set up a website for her because she, you know, when thinking through like how can you bring in an income, she liked to make art. And I was like, but you could sell your art. She was like, Yeah, that's a great idea. So I made her a website. Didn't use it. Um, wanted to learn how to cook. I bought her groceries and went over to her house and started teaching her how to how to make the food. Didn't ever want to do it again. But it kind of pulled back for me. Not too long after I found out, she thought I was a horrible, unsupportive friend because I tried to do these things instead of just giving her money so she wouldn't be evicted, instead of just buying pizza or whatever instead of trying to teach her how to cook.

SPEAKER_00 17:54

Isn't that wild? That is wild. I you know, bless her heart.

SPEAKER_01 17:57

And that's that's that mentality of like things are happening too or she made me the bad guy.

SPEAKER_00 18:01

Right.

SPEAKER_01 18:02

I I mean, check me if I'm wrong. I don't think I was being the bad guy.

SPEAKER_00 18:05

No, not at all. That that's a classic victim mentality, that everything is they can't do anything, nothing's gonna work for them. And here, and let's just do a a quick check-in with our listeners on this to be clear. We we don't want to make this sound like we're we're complaining, right? But we do want to share the idea that although we say main character energy, we also don't want you to be the villain. And your mindset is your choice. Yes. And here's the thing. So that's for you. Like sometimes you've got to do your own check. Your mindset is your choice, right? Your actions are your choice. How you choose to navigate circumstances is your choice. But the other part of that is how do we then navigate other people in those situations? And we we want to be compassionate and we want to help people. I I mean, I'm always wanting to help people, and I think what you the story you just shared is a great example of all, I mean, that's amazing. You did a lot more than I would have done for sure. But I think how we navigate that and and what we allow in our space, right? So who do, and we've talked about this in other episodes, but the idea of who do you give access to? Because when you find that you're in those kinds of situations, you're with those kinds of people, that you're either going to be drugged down by their negativity or it's unlikely that they're gonna be, you know, in enamored by your positivity. Uh if they're in that headspace, they're probably not going to, no matter all the positive things you say, you can do it. You're amazing. You could well, you know, just take action, small steps. We can say all that. But if they're not in the space for that, it it's not gonna work. We have to then make sure though that okay, they're maybe they're not listening, but I can't be a party to that.

SPEAKER_01 19:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:52

So I think we have to set boundaries in those kinds of situations.

SPEAKER_01 19:56

Life is short. I do not want to spend my time being upset.

SPEAKER_00 19:59

No.

SPEAKER_01 19:59

Angry or sad or irritated. I I don't want to be in that space. If something is going wrong, I look at what do I have control over and what silver linings are maybe here, and try to see the bright side. Sometimes that's really hard. Yeah. But your life is what you make with the circumstances that you have. Right. And sometimes those are circumstances you caused from your choices, but that doesn't mean you have to live with that. That's right. You can do something different.

SPEAKER_00 20:27

Yeah, like, you know, Kenny Rogers and The Gambler. You gotta know when to hold them, know when to fold them. You gotta you gotta play the card you're dealt. Yeah. I mean, that that's the bottom line. Yeah, everybody gets everybody has trauma. Everybody has bad things happen. It's amazing though how some people have bad things happen and then they end up doing amazing things. There's a a guy who I think is amazing. He wrote a really great book. Um, his name's Johnny Joey Jones, and he is he's on the news. They actually just made some news here. Anyway, he's amazing, and he had he lost both of his legs uh at the like b above the knee in a in Iraq. He was an EOD, a bomb explosive ordinance person, and so the bomb went off. He did not, you know, he did not get away, and he lost his legs. And he has said before, and I think this is amazing, that people will say to him, How can you be so positive after losing your legs? And his response is always, how can you be so negative when you have yours? It's like, ooh, that's good, right? So yeah, I mean, man, that that does suck, but I try to bet you, you know, somebody else has it worse. It's what you do with it.

SPEAKER_01 21:42

Yeah. Uh reframe things. Sometimes I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm so busy, I'm exhausted. And I think, what a joy it is to be exhausted from exactly what I wanted out of my life. Or when there's a lot of dishes at the sink and that's annoying. At least we had food and we could feed ourselves, we could feed our kids' friends, like we We're all together. Sure, there's like little annoyances, but don't harp on them. Like you have to move past them. When you ruminate and start making everything negative, not only do people not want to be around you, but you'll start noticing you have more bad consequences. That's right.

SPEAKER_00 22:17

The more you focus on the negative, the more negative you get. And we jokingly were calling this, we were, we've been calling this episode don't be an asshole. Uh, because I think that there's the sometimes you are your worst enemy. Yeah. And breakthrough with Mallory and Julie is about ownership. It's about, you know, I say self-fabdication, meaning we give away our power. We become a victim. And that's really, in essence, what that is, is that you become the victim of everything that happens. And things happen to everyone. So you choose how you're going to manage it, how you're, how are you going to respond to it? That's where your power lies. And I think that's kind of the idea of main character energy is actually exactly that. It's taking control of your responses, right? How you handle things that happen to you in your life. So if you are that jerk, if you are the person that complains all the time, if you are the person who is the victim, who plays the victim, which if you are, you probably don't know it. But you might want to double check. You might want to think about it. But knock it off. Knock it off. Nobody wants to hear it. And and you're not helping yourself.

SPEAKER_01 23:28

So stop.

SPEAKER_00 23:30

Yeah. I wouldn't it be great if that was like that easy. I appreciate it's not. But I really do feel like when what do I do? How am I supposed to knock it off?

SPEAKER_01 23:40

Right? I think if you can catch yourself in a moment. So if we're talking about how do you overcome this, what can you do? Right. If you're in the moment and you're feeling heated, look, emotions only last for 90 seconds. And it you control how you respond to those emotions. If you are in a moment where you want to complain, you want to pick on somebody, just stop yourself. Take a deep breath, think about it, and change your perspective. It's all perspective. Have you tried putting yourself in someone else's shoes? Do you know what challenges they're dealing with, what motives they have, because it's not all about you.

SPEAKER_00 24:20

Right.

SPEAKER_01 24:20

What do you think, Julie?

SPEAKER_00 24:21

I think that's absolutely true. I think that whether you think you can or you think you can't, are probably right. Uh, and I think our mindset matters. So, and we we have said this in a lot of when we talk about the podcast, we've said a lot the idea of lovingly kick you in the mindset. And this is probably one of those episodes where hopefully it is a little bit of tough love and that yeah, lovingly kick you in the mindset. We're doing it with love. And and and make no mistake that I need to hear this message as much as anybody else. But it is challenging ourselves to stop being a victim, stop telling yourself all the things you can't do and all the reasons why it's hard, and start figuring out what you can do. Because there's always something you can do. So stop when you find yourself, and I really do, and that's kind of what you're saying. I think that what do you how do you overcome this? I think that's exactly the idea is when you catch yourself complaining, you catch yourself being negative, you catch yourself being a victim, stop yourself and say, no, let me refocus this. What's good about this? What can I do with this, right? And I appreciate that sometimes it's big issues, sometimes it's really really, really awful, horrible things. And it doesn't make it easy and it doesn't make it fast. But I do think that how we choose to navigate it makes a difference.

SPEAKER_01 25:37

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 25:38

So mindset.

SPEAKER_01 25:40

Yes, mindset matters. All right, it's time for you guessed it, Fan Mill5.

unknown 25:46

Fan mail five.

SPEAKER_00 25:48

We've got a good question. Uh and as we've said before, our questions generally are kind of what help us determine a topic. So this question obviously is going to be exactly related to what we're talking about. Yes. Um, because it certainly it this person's not the only one.

SPEAKER_01 26:05

Yeah, and keep them coming. We please. We like them. We do. We hope that you do too. Okay, so this is from Heather in Missouri. I'm frustrated because it feels like no matter what I do, something always gets in the way. I know I can't control everything, but how am I supposed to build a better life when it feels like the odds are always against me? Ugh.

SPEAKER_00 26:24

I feel you, Heather. I feel you. I hope that you're listening. I really do hope you're listening because what you're struggling with is something that a lot of people struggle with. I actually get this a lot in when I'm doing keynotes or when I'm doing training sessions, that that question comes up. It's like it's, you know, how am I supposed to get ahead when all these things I feel like are just continuing to pull me down? And I really do believe it goes back to there are going to be lots of things you can't do. Lots of it's easy to come up with all the things you can't do. You have to shift your mindset to what are the things I can do. Sometimes it's small steps, sometimes it's a mindset shift, sometimes it's, you know, it feels like there that's not even gonna do anything, but it's a step. And we have to shift our mindset, right? Um maybe you hate your job and you, you know, my boss sucks and it's horrible, and but I can't quit because I you don't want to be homeless. Okay, you can't quit. I appreciate that. I would never tell anyone to go in to your boss tomorrow and be like, that's it, I'm out of here. But if you really hate your job, what can you do? And maybe that means you brush up your resume. Maybe that means that you get online and start looking at what's out there. Maybe it means that you have a conversation with your boss about where you are and where you'd like to be. But it's action-oriented. And I will promise you that even small actions help shift the mindset. So mindset matters, love and you keep the mindset, it's what actions can you take? What can you do?

SPEAKER_01 28:03

Yeah. Because guess where you're gonna get if you're just complaining instead of taking action too?

unknown 28:09

Nowhere.

SPEAKER_00 28:10

Nowhere.

SPEAKER_01 28:10

Maybe well, maybe even worse off than you are now. But you've you've taken the first step, like that self-awareness, that's important. And uh, we appreciate. I'm not I'm not trying to make fun of you or anything like that. Um we appreciate the the the question. Remind yourself that you can do it and those small steps, you write them down. Keep track of them. Over time, you're gonna start seeing, like, hey, things are changing, and it's because of me.

SPEAKER_00 28:35

Right. I also just want to reiterate that uh that it I don't want, like, don't be an asshole. Look for ways that we can be more compassionate and we can be better listeners, and we can be more objective in how we how we interact with that. And I think there's something to be said for that. Um as much as I say I get frustrated with people that complain a lot, I also understand that people have a lot to complain about sometimes. And sometimes what they need is just somebody to say, that really sucks, and I'm sorry. And, you know, let me take you out for a cup of coffee or a margarita or something, and and maybe we can shift the mindset. But so I do think that part of it when we say don't be asshole, it means don't don't behave like one on either side of it.

SPEAKER_01 29:18

Yeah. And venting is can be healthy. You just want to keep it productive.

SPEAKER_00 29:21

There's a time limit for how long you can vent. We're gonna talk about that in another episode. Promises. Yes. I love it. Well, hopefully everybody feels like we we wanted to just throw this out there because we did the last episode about really truly being that main character energy and stepping up and you know, you have to do it. And we wanted to reinforce that, but we also wanted to make sure that we were being reasonable and that that doesn't mean that you it's all about you all the time. Um sometimes it's about other people, so make sure we're not being a jerk at the process. So be the main character, but don't be the villain.

SPEAKER_01 29:55

Yes. Don't that's the message. Don't go over the tipping point. I think our listeners are are not the villains. No, I absolutely. I I definitely think they're they're definitely mindful of it and empathetic. And we we appreciate that about you.

SPEAKER_00 30:09

Aaron Powell My guess is that everyone that's listening was thinking of someone specific when we were talking about that person. Probabs. They had a s they had a specific person in their head when we were talking about it. So there's the illustration for everyone listening.

SPEAKER_01 30:24

Yes, and create a little distance if you need to. But before you do that, like, share, subscribe, send links out about the podcast to other people.

SPEAKER_00 30:33

We recommend a podcast to your your problem person. Maybe what they needed was to hear this.

SPEAKER_01 30:40

That might be fun. Be like, hey, just have you heard this one? This one you might want to listen to. But we're we're happy to take them on. So we want the the breakthrough crew to grow, and we hope that you are enjoying our podcast. Please tag us, talk to us in comments and social media. We want to hear more from you, and thank you so much for being here.

SPEAKER_00 31:01

Thank you. Appreciate you. Bye, Breakthrough Crew. We'll see you on the next episode. This episode is sponsored by Heron HR, the experts in full service payroll and HR built for growing businesses. Heron HR offers a white glove experience and specifically works with small and mid-sized businesses. Their easy-to-use HRIS system comes with all the bells and whistles you'd expect from a payroll provider, including applicant tracking, time, and labor management, electronic onboarding, performance management, and more. That's not all. They also provide benefits, administration, and brokering, recruiting, training, and HR services from the administrative to the strategic. Heron HR is there to take on as much or as little of your HR function as you want and need. If you're ready for a solution that scales with you, if you need full service payroll or you just want a real HR partner, they've got you covered. Give them a call today at 1-800-607-7787 or find them online at heronhr.com.

SPEAKER_01 32:11

This episode is brought to you by Julie Birch Speaks. If you want another boring keynote, keep scrolling. But if you want an experience, meet Julie. Julie isn't just a speaker, she's the moment your audience didn't know they needed. With down home charm, a sharp sense of humor, and zero tolerance for fluff, she delivers real-world techniques that make people laugh, think, and actually do something different when they leave. Through relatable stories, bold truth telling, and solid business strategies, wrapped in brilliant comedic humor, Julie connects in a way that feels like a conversation, not a lecture. Your audience won't be just entertained. They'll be equipped, energized, and ready to level up. Solid business strategies, brilliant comedic humor. Find Julie online at JulieBirch.com or give her a call at 214-679-2717.